By Louise Boyle
Published: 13:44 EDT, 12 July 2013 | Updated: 13:44 EDT, 12 July 2013>
The moral of this 'how-survive-a-bear-attack' video appears to be that your best chances are having the rampaging animal laugh itself into submission.
A reporter for a local TV station in Rhode Island filmed a short report this week on exactly how to protect yourself in the wilderness - with unintentionally hilarious results.
Presenter Julie Tremmel in Cranston explains to viewers just how to scare off a bear - with this over-zealous, interactive approach.
Scroll down for video
Wilderness survival 101: 'How to survive a bear attack' by Rhode Island reporter Julie Tremmel
The reporter for NBC10 opens with a warning, based on expert advice, on what you should do if you come across a 'curious 300lb bear'.
Step one, according to the glamorous blonde reporter who looks ill-suited to wilderness survival in full make-up, sandals and bright orange top, is to avoid direct-eye contact.
- >Moment a Labrador's teeth chatter with nerves as she meets... >Is superhuman intelligence a bad idea? Experts warn the...
Share this articleShare
In case you are unclear as to what constitutes 'direct-eye contact', the reporter widens her eyes saucer-like and waggles her head back and forward.
The next tactic is to back away slowly which Tremmel helpfully acts out with exaggerated movements. Waving your arms around crazily is step three, to let the bear know that you are a human (read, idiot).
Top tips: Don't make eye contact with the bear (especially like this) and for goodness sake, stay quiet!
Survival of the fittest: Back away slowly, especially if you have entered deep into the woods in full make-up, sandals and a garish top
Take that! Deter the 300lb bear... by throwing a sandal at it
Nap time? The reporter advises to curl up in a ball if the bear attacks (or if you are made to do cringeworthy news reports)
Tremmel then advises to stay quiet - although best to avoid the staged 'shhh' she demonstrates.
On the other hand if the bear attacks, run screaming towards it - before throwing your shoe at the 300lb rampaging monster.
Finally, if the bear pounces, curl up into a ball or lay flat on your stomach - which will at least allow you to hide your face in shame.
And finally... Lie down in the grass and head your face in your shame
Handy hints: The NBC10 reporter provided viewers with this handy 40-second 'how-to' guide
Source : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2362092/News-reporters-hilarious-video-shows-best-way-avoid-bear-attack.html1416